Diary of a Twin
by xxTenezMoixx
Summary: Gred and Forge. Always together, right? Right? NO! Even twins need some Alone Time, and Fred finds it in his Diary. Forgotten/Abandoned. AND JUST REMEMBERED! I WILL RESTART THIS!
1. Chapter 1

September 1st, 1989

Dear Journal of mine, George and I are finally going to Hoggy-Warty-Hogwarts! About time, eh? Mum was making a right fuss over us, her fourth and fifth babies going away. Aw, cry me a river! At least we got away to sneak into good ol' Coke's Joke Shop. Bloody brilliant, that place is! Dungbombs, stink pellets, and these little Peruvian things that emit all this black smoke. Brilliant for distractions. Perce says not to make any trouble; that just earned him double, though. I swear, one day that boy will become a prefect and I'll have to deny my relations with him. Every other Weasley loves a good laugh. Not Perce. He'd rather snog a textbook, and he's only a third year now! I wonder if a girl could loosen him up? Let him know what its like to snog something alive... I must plot that one further with George... But it might not even work. This is Percy we're talking about, after all. Mr. I'd-Rather-Organize-My-Knickers-By-Scent-Than-Admit-My-Younger-Brothers-Are-Actually-

Funny. If Ronnikins ends up like that, George and I may just have to transfer to Beaubatons. Not Durmstrang. Stupid, foreign, ugly blokes. It'd be easy to get girls, though. Unless they're blubbery to keep warm. Oh, that'd be bad... But, it's getting dark, now. Oh look, there a nice middle-aged witch with some food... I fancy some Pumpkin Pasties, or maybe a Licorice Wand? I wonder what George did with my money bag...?

September 8th, 1989

Blimey, what a week! All my teachers are... too teacher-ish. McGonagall, my head of house (Gryffindor, by the way! Cheers!) and transfiguration teacher, is so uptight you'd think the house elves starched her knickers. "Hogwarts is a place to learn and study, and you will do so. Lose Gryffindor points, and I will be most displeased. I sincerely hope you all are a positive assets to Gryffindor in the House Cup." Oh, blah blah blah. And Flitwick! Tiny thing of a man, but quick with a wand. He basically said the same thing, 'cept the thing about Gryffindor points, of course. Then, theres the potions teacher, Snape! Potions are dodgy enough, but this guy, sheesh! Can you say Death Eater?! And slimy! You might be laughing, Journal, but I honestly don't think the poor bloke knows what shampoo or a breath mint is. Sprout, the Herbology professor, is nice enough, though. Bloody Hufflepuff. She could use some handsoap, too, though. To much bloody dirt on her! She's a walking Mandrake! Hooch, the flying teacher, is kinda out there. Spiky grey hair? Bizzare. But thats what you get when you get hit with too many bludgers, I suppose. I'll have to warn George, right when we wanted to try out for Beaters, too. Well, next year, maybe. You know first years never make the team? They think we know nothing, honestly. And then there's the Defense professor, Nightwen. He's boring like you wouldn't believe! He just drones on and on, almost as bad as Binns, the History teacher, who's also the only ghost teacher. The most exciting part of his class is him drifting through the blackboard, and the awesome daydreams you can have. Why the hell do we need to know about bloody Goblin Rebilions and how ugly Urg the Ugly was in our first week? Really! I'm sure Percy would snog Binns, if Binns were living. Bet he tastes better than books. His own voice must have been his murderer. If I had a voice like that... Oh, it's time for dinner! These meals are as amazing as mums... George and I must find those kitchens for future parties. I hear its house elves that do all the cooking and cleaning around here; over one thousand. Blimey! And the Great Hall ceiling, it's enchanted to mimic the outside sky. Bloody brilliant! Percy, who I reckon is the only person in the family to have ever read _Hogwarts: A History_, says it was Rowena Ravenclaw who charmed it. But who bothers with those details? It's just one of those things that should be appreciated, not picked apart and analyzed.

October 31, 1989

I never did tell you, Journal, exactly how annoying the caretaker, Filch, is, did I? I swear, if he didn't loathe Peeves, (the resident poltergiest) so much, they could date. He assigned George and I a detention, just for "kicking" that mangy cat of his. Honestly, I swear I just tripped over the damn thing! And then George defended me, saying he pushed me, stupid noble bloke. He got a detention for "Muggle Abuse" in the corridors. Stupid, bloody rules. And then Peeves came along, with this stupid song:

"Measly Weasley numbers four and five! First Year twins, Filchy'll skin you alive!"

I mean, "Filchy"? Is that this poltergeist can really come up with? Pitiful. How about "Squibby"? Filch must be, why else does he clean up the castle not with a _wand_, but a scrub brush? Bit dodgy, you know? That would also explain why he seems to hate us students so much. But anyways, back to our detention. Yeah... In about three hours, immediately following the feast, which I hear is legendary, by the way, George and I are scrubbing the dungeons, and then the Grand Staircase. By hand. And we get one bottle of soap. If we run out of soap, Filch says we'll have to buy more off of him. Isn't that like stealing from a student? Bloody, dodgy, stupid Squib. Thank Merlin Bill has taken pity on us; He said it's everyone's dream to give Mrs. Norris a good kick, so he's doing our school work for us. I heard Dumbledore reserved the Weird Sisters to play tonight. But, with all the rumors that fly around this place, you never really know, do you?

November 1, 1989

Blimey, Journal! My shoulders, elbows, wrists, fingers, and any other arm-joint you think of is on FIRE! I never really realized just how big that staircase is. I have a completely new respect for it. No more kicking Mrs. Norris, while Filch is on the same floor at least. Bloody beast has got it coming. Once was nowhere near enough. The feast was awesome, though. Live bats, floating pumpkins, and violins playing eerie music overhead among the bats and pumpkins. No Weird Sisters, though. George kept banging on about how the singers voice "is soooooo dreamy". Sounds like George's got a bit of a crush, eh? Oh, Bill just handed me my homework. I guess it was a one time deal only? I'll have to do it, I guess. Now, what did Flitwick say about Wingardium Leviosa? Swish and jab? Upward flick? Flick and swish? Oh, not good...

December 21, 1989

Going home for the holidays! I wish we didn't have those three essays and that diagram... What ever happened to holiday spirit? Well, the essay from Snape was expected because we all know he has no soul. But what about that Moon Flower diagram (detailed and colored!) for Sprout? I thought Hufflepuffs were nice... I'll be having a word, I believe, with the Sorting Hat. Oh, Journal! I never told you, did I? Well, a few days ago, George and I had some Dungbombs fall out of our pockets. Filch dragged us down to his dingy little office near the dungeons for that, and we saw a filing cabinate labeled "Dangerous Objects". Obviously, we were totally interested, So George dropped another Dungbomb as a distraction while I found the most amazing thing ever. It was a blank piece of parchment, until i touched. Then these words flashed upon it, "A true mischief maker at last. We'll reveal our pranking secrets, if you can decipher the correct password!" I grabbed it, and pocketed the parchment. Then, Peeves dropped something really heavy overhead, and Filch was so distracted he let us off! George and I still haven't figured out the password, but apparently we were close with "I swear to Merlin I'm up to nothing good!" We'll have to hid it from Mum, she already doesn't trust us...

February 19, 1990

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Thats the password. It turns out that this is a map that shows the location of everyone inside of Hogwarts and the Grounds, and several secret passages in, out, and around the castle. We're still trying to turn OFF the map, though. George reckons it's something like "Quick, hide yourself!" or "I've got a detention now!" I told him thats a load of ghoul dung. These Marauder guys, though, they were brilliant! Cartography spells, and tracking spells, thats something I don't think that's even taught in seventh year!

April 13, 1990

Yes, Journal, I've realized my entries are getting shorter and shorter. Homework load has tripled, and George and I are still coming up with new pranks, serving detentions, and dogding prefects. And we've got finals coming up. We're not going to do well, I know, but I'm confident we'll make it to second year. I hope. Mom can't stand thats she's already gotten five owls home. I told her not to worry, and that McGonagall would probably send many more. I got a Howler for that one, bringing a total of six this year. How disappointing...

June 14, 1990

Ah, summer is just around the corner. And I was right, George and I barely passed. Snape set us a two foot long essay, McGonagall a foot and a half, Flitwick wants a foot on Levitating Charms, and Binns wants an entire _roll_ on goblin rebellions. Merlin! Like that'll happen! George and I want to try out next year for Gryffindor Quidditch, Beaters. Our current Keeper, Wood, is brilliant. I bet he'll be captain next year, watch, even though he'll only be a fourth year. I'd better for finish packing, I guess... I seem to have misplaced a few things... Like my books. Until next year, Journal!


	2. Chapter 2

September 1, 1990

Hello, diary! Currently on the grand ol' Bogey Express, on the way to school. Summer had it's ups and downs, Ron got his knickers in a bunch that he couldn't come this year with us. Seriously, there's something wrong with him. He clings to us too much, kinda creepy, really. Thats why we turned his bear into a giant spider. I don't think I've ever seen Dad that mad. Mum was eve scared of him; she retreated into the kitchen. I don't know if my buttock will ever be the same...

I heard from one of the older students, Oliver Wood, that there is a new Defense teacher every year. That'll make an easy class, then. We'll spend the whole year playing catch-up.

But this Wood kid, he's pretty cool. He's a fourth year, and Quidditch-obsessed! He knows the stats of every team; he memorized them. He's the Captain this year. He's been playing since his second year, too. He said during his first match, he took a Bludger to the head and woke up two weeks later in the Hospital wing. Who knows if that's true, but from his enthusiasm, I'd believe it. George and I want to try out for Beaters. Mess up the commentator with two red-headed Weasley beaters... Speaking of Commentator, Lee Jordan, who's dorm we share with, might try out for it. Hope he gets it, the bloke's a laugh. He's been awesome in helping us test some pranks.

Over the summer, we developed an altered Dungbomb, you can place it somewhere and set it for a particular time to go off. We also were able to perfect an idea Lee had. He wanted us to lay ropes all over the Great Hall, cast a charm so they're invisible, and levitate them three inches off the floor. But the only trick is, levitate each piece at a different time, so you have people tripping over nothing at random intervals. We figured we could try the timing charm on them, make one rise ever three to five minutes or so. We're going to perfect everything tonight in the common room, and we think Halloween would be a good time to pull it off.

We're nearing the station, I'd better say goodbye. I'll write again as soon, homework, prank, and detention permitting.

September 29, 1990

Ah, our first week of detention completed. Hooch's aren't that bad. She just had us polishing broom handles and plucking out stray twigs. Not too bad. Why did we get a detention, you ask, Diary? Because we jinxed some of the brooms to fly backwards for her Flying Class. It was a laugh, even she thought it was funny, but felt the need to punish us because someone could have gotten hurt. Hooch isn't a bad teacher, she knows how to have a laugh.

Progress for "Operation: Trip everyone in the Great Hall" is going nicely. The only problem we're having now is getting the invisibility charms to stick long enough. That's a tricky bit of magic right there. George is off researching alternative methods of invisibility. Maybe a charm that just makes it blend in with it's surrounding? Or maybe theres a potion we just have to dip it in?

Quidditch tryouts are going to be October 10, and George and I have been practicing as much as we could. We've got Lee chucking rocks at us to practice aiming with. Lee reckons we're a couple of solid walls and the rocks just bounce off. We reckon years of blocking Great Auntie Muriel's hugs gave us good aim.

Oh, look, George is back! And he looks happy. Hope he's got good news for us...

October 11, 1990

First, I'll hold you, Diary, in suspense about the Quidditch trials. I will tell you up front that George and I have a fair few bruises. Bludgers are much more unpredictable than rocks. And harder. Ow.

But let's talk about the trip prank. George came in that night with a charm called a Disillusionment Charm. It basically turns whatever you put it on into a form of chameleon that blends in with it's surroundings. Much more simple than an invisibility charm, but now I can't seem to find my Defense book. Our teacher this year is another ghost, and we're really only learning theory. That book is vital. Mum won't be pleased if I have to get a new one, it wasn't very cheap.

Let's talk about Percy now. Percy, the Wonder Git. He's becoming much more withdrawn into his studies. He's certainly headed for Prefect-ship. George and I will have to deny our relations to him, but Oliver Wood told us that Percy is already denying us as his brothers. Git.

All right, Diary, all right! Quidditch! Yes, George and I landed the role of Beaters. First practice is October 20. We're the youngest Beaters for Gryffindor house in about seventy-five years, and the only twins to ever hold that position. However, according to Wood, about twenty years back, there were triplets who were all Chasers, and about thirty years back, there were twins who both played Seeker, on different teams, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. Odd how those things work out sometimes, eh?

We tried our Timed Dungbombs the other day in Snape's class. We snuck in at lunch and planted them all under his desk. Well, not all, as in our entire stash, but there were about five or six. There's a warning on the box that says not to use more that four in an enclosed space. And did we find out why! Snape passed out, along with a few other Slytherins! Jackpot, goal, score, bingo, and bulls-eye. Unfortunately, he was able to trace the magic to us and Lee. He's got us in separate detention for two weeks. But it was worth it. Now, half the school is under the impression Snape has some really bad gas problems. Brilliance. Pure brilliance.

October 31, 1990

This is it. The big one. The one we've all been waiting for! No, I'm not talking about Oliver's Quidditch pep-talks. Nope. Tonight, Halloween 1990, is gonna be awesome. Hagrid, the game-keeper, has supplied thirteen pumpkins big enough for him to sit in, which is saying something, as the guy is huge. There are live bats flying overhead, blocking the ceiling. I don't even know if it's dark yet. There are candles just above the bats, I think., that are tossing shadows everywhere. This is truly something. And on top of that, Lee is off putting the finishing touches on the Invisi-Rope! We're in here before everyone else; We bargained with Hagrid. We stay away from the Forbidden Forest for the rest of the year, and he helps us when we need it. In this case, it's giving us access to the Great Hall. This is gonna be amazing. I wonder if I could charm some of the food to transfigure people temporarily once they've eaten it? Maybe that's a bit complex, I am only twelve... Uh oh! According to the Maruader's Map, Greasy-Gassy Boy is coming... Hide!

November 1, 1990

Brilliant. Just brilliant. Purely, simply, astoundingly brilliant. And we didn't even get caught. Sadly, we're still doing time for Snape and his "gas" attack. I love those Dungbombs... I wonder if we could mess with Stink Pellets next? We might have to be careful for a while, though. Christmas is coming, we don't want Mum getting mad now.

November 13, 1990

We finished Snape's detentions a few days ago. I will never look at mice the same way again. They weren't too bad before, but once you've dissected them, and pickled they're.. er... "man-parts", it kind of changes your whole perspective on them... I think George had it worse. He gutted Flobberworms, and collected their juices. I think Lee said he was cutting up Mandrakes... Snape won't be safe for long. Right after Christmas and the New Year, he's in for Hell.

January 9, 1991

That was a seriously good haul this year! And better yet, is Percy didn't come home for the holiday. Mum was in a right state, but Percy just said he had a lot of homework to do and needed the library. Mum believed him. I didn't. There's something with him, besides being a git.

Anyways, Bill and Charlie were able to get time off and come home. It was brilliant. You should have seen Ginny, Diary, she was so happy. We all think Bill is her favorite brother, and she doesn't see him a lot. Mum had a fit over Bill's appearance again. I like his hair. It needs to stay long. I want mine to be that long...

But, like I said, the haul was amazing. Between George and I, we got so much candy, we could rot our teeth out. But I think we could put it all to better use by practicing some charms on it. What if we took these Creams, and made people turn into a bird when they ate them? Just for a minute or two, give 'em a good scare, but be able to laugh about it. Or make their tongue grow several feet? Or what about trick candies that could make your enemies sick? I might have to start keeping a list...

Remember last time I said Snape was in for Hell when we got back from break? Oh yea. How about we try some of these trick candies on him? Slip it into his mourning pumpkin juice, or a potion... that would be terrible right there. Combining two magical items with different properties? What if the cauldron melted? All over Snape's feet... I must go plan further with George and Lee...

February 14, 1991

Must hide... hordes of girls after me... Why today, of all days?

Oh, yeah. St. Val's day... Merlin help every bloke alive on this day... AHHH--

February 14, 1991

Thank Merlin for the Maurader's Map. I can hide in this passage from those girls until the coast is clear... What did I want to say earlier? Oh yea. Operation: Revenge Upon SlimeBall. Nothing deadly, I don't want to go to Azkaban. And right now, our trick sweets that make people sick are too strong. Just inhaling their scent made Lee pass out, so we got rid of the batch in this old unused girl's bathroom. But then this barmy old ghost lady came out, splashing us with her ghostly toilet water. Ew. We have got to make those candies less intense. Snape is terrorizing first year's again.

April 1, 1991

Happy Birthday to us! Yes Diary, it's my birthday. And George's. Another great haul, better than what we got for Christmas!

Here is the best of it, I omitted a few things for space's sake: Jinxes and Hexes for Fun, by Gregory Beanut; Prank Ideas for the Prank Kings, Vol. I and II, by Lionel Smithey; and the usual horde of Stink Pellets, Dungbombs, and Hagrid sent us some thick sticks from the Forest. Why would he give us sticks? To make some fake wands, of course. Not difficult, all you do is whittle them into the shape of a wand and put a spell on them so they transfigure into something when touched. Maybe George and I can make some real superb ones that beat the user up and down... I'd love to try that on Perce...

We've taken bit of a break from pranking since March. We ended up accidentally dropping a few Sick Candy prototypes into some Slytherin's potion. Apparently, they don't mix well with Swelling Solutions. The cauldron melted, and the potion rocketed out and showered onto the whole Slytherin side of the room. Bloody hilarious! Snape wasn't able to prove who it was, but we're pretty sure he knew it was us. We'll resume our usual hobby in late May, in time to say goodbye to another fun year.

June 3, 1991

School's almost over, and we need another prank. I suggested we jinx the entire Slytherin House to stand up and do ballet on their table at the Farewell Feast, but we reckoned it might be to similar to the Imperious Curse, making people do things against their will. Shame. It would only be for a laugh. Imagine, those great hulking gits doing ballet in front of the entire school! Priceless. I know kids that would pay to see that.

George suggested we switch a few wands with our fake ones, but we haven't had time to make a lot. We have about thirty, and we wouldn't want to use our whole stash on one prank. If we just switch twenty-eight wands, on for every year in every house, then it would be a random, luck-of-the-draw who got pranked. It might work, but we need more fake wands then.

Lee wanted to do something with sleeping draughts, but thought better of it. The only way they might be able to get it in with the food is if they got the House Elves in the kitchen to help, but how would they, themselves, avoid the tainted food? It would look awkward if they didn't eat. Lee then suggested they could say they were late, and had been studying in the library. But then, I had to point out, who would believe that?

So it looks like we'll have to make more fake wands so we don't expend our entire stock on this. I can't wait! I don't think I'll be able to write between now and end of term, so, Diary, I'll see you next year.


	3. Chapter 3

August 31, 1991 

What a holiday. Ron has been clinging to me and George, he's ecstatic about starting Hogwarts. He asked how we're sorted into different houses, and by that time, he had gotten on my nerves so much, I told him he had to wrestle a troll. Scared him senseless. Serves him right for going on and on about it. 

Percy also made Prefect. I knew this would happen! How are we ever going to have any fun? What if he gives us detentions? Oh puh-lease. We went through Bill being Head Boy, Percy as Prefect can't be that bad. Right? And if he is, then we'll starch his knickers. Give him a real reason to be a tight-wad. No biggie.  
Anyways, really, I'm just stalling right now. George and I can't pack until everyone is asleep. We've developed a few new things, and we do not want Mum confiscating them. We've improved our trick wands, they now whack the unwary user upside the head once or twice, but we can't get them to do much more than that. We also succeeded in lessening the intensity of the Sick Candies, but they still need lots of work. Lots. And now George wants a whole range. One for nosebleeds, another for puking, one for fainting... and so on. And we need an antidote. Ha. Lots of work. It's not high on our priority list, though. We're more concerened about ideas for now, and research, we can perfect everything later.  
Mum is the only one up now, finally. We'll start packing our clothes, and shrink all our stuff and hid it in socks or something. Until next time, Diary.

September 2, 1991

Harry bloody Potter! I met him, yesterday! Poor kid was all alone at the station, and he asked Mum for directions. He looked so lost. I wonder if I looked like that the first time I came? Hard to believe it was only two years ago. Ginny kept gawking at him like he was some animal in a cage. Obsession, much? I wonder where his family was?

Well, Harry Potter, and sadly Ron, too, made Gryffindor. I, personally, had my fingers crossed Ron would go for Hufflepuff, but I guess you have to pick your battles. 

This year, the Defense teacher is some looney in a bright purple turban. Quirrel. More like "Squirrel", he's so twitchy. And he's got a stuttering problem. Kind of funny, really. Smells like he's stuffed the turban with giant garlic cloves, ew! Talk about rancid!

Another oddity: The third floor corridor is off-limits this year. The one right by Charms? Yeah, that one. I wonder why? George, Lee, and I will deffinatly have to find out. Time to break out the Maruader's Map, eh? I still can't believe our luck in finding that thing. We owe Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs so much. If not for them, we'd have gotten too many detentions to count, and never would have found all those secret passages, including the one into Hogsmeade. (Not including that one blocked by that mad tree thing)

HOGSMEADE! Brilliant, I forgot all about it! It's this Wizarding village, the only one in Britain, and third years and up are allowed to go on some weekends. There's a joke shop, a superb sweet shop, and quills and everything you could ever need, right there! And Charlie told me about the Shrieking Shack. He says that it's supposed to be the most haunted building in all of Britain! The Tricking Trio (cool name, eh?) have got to figure out a way in. I'll have to go discuss that one, now, while it's on my mind. Until next time, Diary!

September 26, 1991

I can't believe it. Lee's got a girlfriend. Angelina Johnson. She's on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, too. Oliver won't be pleased, and McGongonall will really get onto Lee if he sneaks in any side comments about her. What if they break up? I'm friends with Katie Bell, and Alicia Spinnet, who is on Reserve, both who are friends with Angelina. This could get very messy.

October 19, 1991

This was our first Hogsmeade weekend, and boy am I tired. It was a bit nippy outside, so George, Lee, and I spent most of our time either in Zonko's Joke Shop restocking ourselves, or in The Three Broomsticks, the better local pub. The other one is some run-down shack. Wow, Diary. Butterbeer is some good stuff. It just warms you up inside, you know? Well, no, you don't, you're paper within two covers and a spine, but whatever. It's good stuff. And the Shrieking Shack has got a ten-foot fence all around it... Like that will stop us from trying to get in? Yeah, right.

October 30, 1991

Lee broke up with Angelina. This is horrible. We've got a game coming up in about a week, against Slytherin! Bad, bad, bad, and bad! This is really going to affect her playing, and she's the best, in my opinion. At least the other Chasers don't seem to hate us, and we'll be able to play.

Oh, you need Quidditch updates, Diary! Well, Harry made it onto the team, Seeker. Alicia moved up from Reserve to First Team Chaser. She's good, not as good as Kaitie or Angelina, but she'll get there. We're against Slytherin next week, and it's Harry's first game. He's really nervous, you just mention a broom and he clams up. This could be terrible if he doesn't get it together by game time. Oh, look at me. I'm sounding like Oliver!

Time for prank updates? Yes, I think so. The other day, Hermione Granger was having a problem with her Transfiguration, so while I pretended to help (as if I remember that from two years ago!) George swapped her wand for a fake. And then she tried to jinx us once she found her real wand. That girl is smart. Who would have thought she'd be able to perform a Leg-Locker Curse at that age? Muggleborn, and been in school just under two months? She'll go far, if she doesn't jinx people to death!

Uh oh, Diary. She's just spotted me. Time to go hide in my dorm.

November 5, 1991

Harry is getting even more nervous, and we play in three days. Somehow, the secret leaked, and now everyone knows that he's the new Seeker. People have been saying all sorts of horrible things, like they'd be running under him holding a mattress. He's up in his dorm right now, hiding from everyone. The poor kid, I hope Ron talks some sense into him.

Oh, and Halloween this year was a disaster. Someone let a Troll in, probably as a prank. Not funny. Troll's are incredibly stupid, and could have killed somebody. Someone's idea of fun is warped. Apperently, from what Ron told me, Hermione Granger was hiding in a girl's bathroom and it walked in on her crying, and tried to eat her or something. Apperently, Ron saved her while Harry was being held upside down by the Troll. I think Ron lied, and switched the story around. There is no way that Harry would be dim enough to be caught by the Troll, but I know that Ron is. Anyway, it all ended and Gryffindor gained five points out of the entire thing, and Ron, Harry, and Hermione Granger are never out of each other's company. Looks like Gryffindor has got another Trio, but who could forget the original? The Tricking Trio? Hm? We're the best!

November 8, 1991

It's about two hours until game time. I think Harry's gonna be sick if he doesn't eat. Oh, good. That Finnigan kid is putting ketchup on Harry's sausages, and.. and... Yes! Harry has taken a bite! You can't fly on an empty stomach. Empty stomach and the nerves and excitement of Quidditch put together insn't good... Trust me.

November 9, 1991  
Ah, happy Saturday. Time to relax.

Well, the game didn't go too horribly. Some of Harry's dormmates had painted him a banner, and he looked heartened once he saw it. I'll have to thank them later. Wood's speech was the same as usual, only altered to include the fact that we had damn well better beat Slytherin.

Angelina and Lee's break-up didn't seem to have any effect on her playing; she was superb as usual. Lee kept sneaking in remarks about her into his commentary, stuff like "What a flier that girl is!" or "She's an excellent Chaser, and rather attractive, too," and other comments like that.

Back to Harry. He played well, but he really needs to watch out for those Bludgers. I can't be all over him constantly, I've got the rest of the team to protect and the other team to get! But, Bludgers aside, somehow in the middle of the game, Harry's broom went wonky. It kept jerking higher and higher, trying to buck him off. Now, a Nimbus 2000 is the top of the line, and they don't just decide to ditch their flier. And they're anti-jinx spells are too powerful for a student to break through, meaning somehow, for some reason, an adult in the audience tried to knock Harry off his broom. I'll bet it was Snape, the greasy git hates Harry, and would have wanted his team to win. George and I felw up, trying to pull him onto our brooms. We wouldn't want our star Seeker killed before he ever caught the Snitch! But every time one of us got near, he'd jerk another ten feet up. George suggested it would be better if we just circled about fifty feet under him, ready to catch him if he fell. If Harry had any sense, he'd have just let go of that broom. But, he didn't, and somehow the jinx or curse broke, and he was able to climb back on. This is the brilliant part. After that, he chased after the Snitch, until he was about ten feet above the ground. (By this time, most of the other gameplay had stopped to watch.) Boy, what a dive! Harry leaned foward to grab the Snitch, and fell off his broom. And a few seconds later, he coughs the little ball up! He swallowed the thing! We won, one hundred and seventy to sixty. Go Lions!

December 16, 1991

Yeah! Guess what, Diary? There is about three feet of snow outside right now! The lake looks completely frozen over, and Georege and I will have to go out there and play around later. Maybe we could bewitch some snowballs to bounce off of Quirrel... That'd be funny. Maybe the snow would melt and wash off the garlic-y smell? Let's hope so!

Time to skip a few classes and have a three-way snowball war with George and Lee. Alright!

December 17, 1991

Diary, do you know how hard it is to write under a desk? Why am I writing under a desk, you ask? Because I'm in detention and I'm supposed to be writing lines, "Professor Quirrel is not a snowball target, he is a teacher and should be respected as such." Don't they know that I could just charm my quill to write it for me? Or to copy it over several times for me? Stupid teachers, with their stupid lines.

Oh, damn. Here comes McGonagall!

December 23, 1991

With almost everyone out of the castle now and home for Christmas, Lee reckons it would be a good idea to try to sneak into the third floor corridor, and see exactly why it's off limits.

We've actually been spending a lot of time in the library, looking up new charms and things we can use in pranks and jokes that aren't being teached. I still want to try to figure out something that will transfigure people into random objects or animals when eaten for a few seconds. But a timed transfiguration spell, that wears off after a few seconds.. tricky. How can I get it to activate once eaten, but weaken it so it only lasts a few seconds? This is a hard one.

Oh, and ickle Ronnikins is trying to teach Harry to play Wizard's Chess. Hysterical, really. Harry can't seem to grasp the fact that you don't want your pieces taken.

December 26, 1991

Christmas this year was fun. We went into Ron and Harry's dorm. I don't think they noticed we had switched sweaters, so mine had a yellow "G" on it, and George was wearing mine with the "F" on it. I was a bit dissapointed to see that Ron and Harry's didn't have letters on theirs. I guess that's because people have problems telling me and George apart. All the more reason to switch sweaters. I bet Mum would be so confused she'd explode.

Percy seemed upset that we refused to let him sit with the other Prefects at dinner, but that doesn't matter. Christmas is a time for family, and he will do well to remember that. And just to reinforce out point, we nicked his Prefect badge after dinner. He chased us all around Gryffindor Tower. I didn't know that proper, dignified Percy could run... Cue the evil laughter.

January 5, 1992

Term hasn't even started, everyone just got back yesterday, Saturday, and Wood has got us training already. We just finished practice, and would you believe that Snape is refereeing next match? We're against Hufflepuff, and he may not like them either, but I just know he's going to be unfair to us. Harry had better catch that Snitch as fast as humanly possible before Hufflepuff gets too many free shots. This could get very messy. By the way, we play on the twenty-fourth.

January 25, 1992

The match went well, very well. We were all worried about Snape refereeing, at least, we were before I looked out of the locker rooms and pointed out that Dumbledore was watching, and that should help with Snape's attitude. Strangly, Harry seemed very relieved. Like, more than the rest of us. I reckon he's a bit scared of Snape, but then, find me a first year that isn't. Even George and I were a bit afraid of him when we came here.

Harry. That kid is brilliant, I tell you! He caught that Snitch in less than five minutes. That was brilliant, I've never seen anything like it, except maybe professionally. He nearly ran into Snape, too. If he hadn't caught it, Snape probably would have awarded Hufflepuff a penalty for something stupid like "Deliberatly trying to knock over the Referee," or something. Bloody Slytherin.

I heard that Ron got in a fight with Malfoy. That kid is one slimey git, I bet he's related to Snape. And Neville Longbottom got involoved, too. Apperently, he's still unconscious in the Hospital Wing. That what he gets, though, for trying to take on those two gorrillas, Crabbe and Goyle. But Ron says Malfoy's got a black eye. I can't wait to see, it would be great blackmail material.

And, of course, later, Gryffindor Tower held an awesome celebratory party, with food and drink George and I nicked from the kitchens.

February 12, 1992

I can feel it. The girls in the castle are all excited. Saint Valentines Day is coming. What, do they think we're going to immediently ask them out because of a stupid holiday? There is something wrong with girls, I'm serious.

March 1, 1992

Diary, it's been a while since any pranks were pulled. George, Lee and I need to work on that. We need to test those sick candies again, I think their still too strong. Lee was still working on an antidote last time I checked. Custom antidotes are sixth year level, though. Maybe we could get Percy to teach us, even though he's only a fifth year? I don't know, he's studying for his O.W.L.s, I'm not sure if bothering him is the best thing, but maybe, if we sounded like we were interested, I doubt he'd refuse. He's wanted us to be more serious in our studies since before we even got our letters. Paranoid much? But I suppose it's worth a try.

March 26, 1992

Workload... intensifying... drowning in... work... Just kidding, Diary! Exams may be coming, but I'm not all huffed about it like Hermione or Percy. They should date or something, really. I never thought I could find someone else like Percy. And Ron likes her. No, Diary, not as friend. More. But he doesn't know it yet. He's too young. But I can see it. It's like when George and I caught Mum and Dad under the mistletoe a few years back, he's got the same kind of look in his eyes. He was too young to remember the mistletoe thing, and he's gonna end up saying his feelings are brotherly and nothing more. Or, he'll keep it secret, too worried about whether she feels the same or not. What happened to Gryffindor courage? I know they're too young for anything right now, Diary, but in a few years... you never know.

April 9, 1992

I'm not so sure that the Easter Break will be much fun; the teachers are just piling on the work. Oh, who am I kidding? George and I will just blow it off as usual. Maybe do one assignment per class, when and if we feel like it. Even little Ronnikins is in the Library, studying until he can't handle it. He'll be done in about, oh, two and a half minutes.

I got an owl from Ginny this morning. (I think Mum put her up to it.) She just said hello and wished me an enjoyable break. Odd, eh? She's never written to me before. Usually, Mum will just include what Ginny wanted to say at the end of one of her letters or Howlers. I wonder what's going on, or if she wants something... Girls are weird. Especially sisters.

April 23, 1992

Lee talked to Percy about the customized antidotes. Percy doesn't know Lee as well as he knows us, and I reckon he thinks that Lee is just a little misled or something. But anyway, Lee pulled the whole thing off beautifully. He's got some amazing acting skills, Diary. Those could totally come in handy later.

Back to the antidotes. Apperently, you just make the opposite of the potion. Like, if you're stirring counter-clockwise in the potion, for the antidote you would stir clockwise, I think. Lee understood it, I'll let him worry about it.

George has also weakend the dosage so it won't kill you when you eat it, only make you sick! Which is exactly what we wanted. Once we get a whole range of these, it'll be brilliant for skiving off classes.

And once that is done, I'll just do my bit by putting a little reaction charm on it, so once swallowed, it will take effect after a few seconds. We're so brilliant. If we put this much work into school, we could be top in everything. But why would we want to waste precious time? We can use this time at school for not only the Library, but to test and see exactly what is needed around here.

I know, Diary. This year has been mostly development, not pranking. I know. But how can you prank with no new material? The same old things get boring.

May 12, 1992

Hello, Diary. You'll never believe it. Harry, Hermione, and Neville Longbottom were out at night, roaming around. And got caught. And lost Gryffindor one hundred and fifty points. Yes, George, Lee and I have lost loads of points for only being here three years, but I don't think we've ever gotten that many taken in one go. Usually teachers just expect it and we'll lose ten points each and get a few detentions or something. I guess they lost so much because they're like the star students, except for Longbottom, who doesn't know the right end of a wand and has melted more cauldrons than I care to count.

You want to know why Ron wasn't with them? Because he's in the hospital wing. He's been bit by something nasty, too. Actually, it looks a bit like a dragon bite, I've seen Charlie come home with some in the process of healing, and they kinda looked like that. How the hell did Ron come across a dragon? He told Madame Pomfrey it was a dog, but not even Longbottom would believe that for more than three seconds.

On a more interesting note, finals are nearly on us, school is almost over, so I think it's time to prank the school. We've been on the quiet side this year, and they all must think they're all safe by now. Never! Ha ha ha! I think we'll switch people's wands with fakes, or give them biting tea cups, or something. One person, per year, per house again. That was a good idea to ensure all fairness. I need to go plan with George and Lee. Badly. My brain is so devious!

May 30, 1992

Tommorow. In the Great Hall. Wands are getting swapped and our Timed Dungbombs are going under the Slytherin table. Thank Lee for bringing that one back! Gassy Slytherins, what could be funnier?

June 2, 1992

Nevermind. We were caught sneaking into the Great Hall by Hooch and have three detentions to serve with her now. Bloody hell! Who knew the Great Hall was off-limits before seven in the morning? Not me. I've been in there loads of times. But Hooch's detentions are never that bad. Just cleaning out the broom shed, defrosting brooms in the winter, polishing them, easy stuff. And usually, she'll hang around and talk Quidditch with us. I've got to say, Hooch is one of my favorite teachers. She's not hard or strict at all. She's actually rather fun sometimes.

But it looks as if an end-of-the-year prank won't happen. So sad. Very sad. We'll just have to let off a bunch of Dungbombs while we leave or something. Oh well. Can't have it all.

Oh, and the sick candies are almost completed. I never told you what they do to you, did I? Fever. Yes, fever. You'll soar right up, look flushed, and a bit sweaty. And once you're rushed out of class, then you just pop in the antidote, which we have in a pill capsule form, and you're free because the symptoms almost immediently disappear. Brilliant for O.W.L. year.

Until next time, Diary, which may not be until school starts again, or a few days before.

June 5, 1992

Diary! Harry, Ron and Hermione went into the third floor corridor! Apperently, they overcame a bunch of obstacles, like a giant chess set and some mad flying keys, and at the end, Harry battled with You-Know-Who! But I heard that You-Know-Who was only in a somewhat spirit form. Weird, eh? Apparently, You-Knowwho had been possessing Quirrel, and now Quirrel is dead and You-Know-Who is probably half-way across the world. Amazing! George and I will have to send him a toilet seat, it'll make him laugh when he wakes up. Oh, and Gryffindor will probably win the house championship! Maybe we did something right with Ronnikins, maybe he'll follow in our footsteps. With Hermione's brains, Ron's strategy skills, and Harry's daring and occasional stupidity, they could do anything! See you next year, Diary! 


End file.
